I love black thongs
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
