I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
