New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
YAS. BRING CRAB.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
