Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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