a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
