just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
