you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he fucked my hip out of place.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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