I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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