His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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