When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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