Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
