i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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