K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
