whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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