she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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