Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
