C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
