I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
