can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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