38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Four minutes until I can fart!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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