belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
