Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
