And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
