doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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