Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
