I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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