Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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