He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
