So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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