are you so shy because you have an std?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
