Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
