No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
