Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
