I got chris browned last night
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
