he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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