I want to have your abortion
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize