she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
