ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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