Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
