do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
