Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
