Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
