Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
