how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
