worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
