she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're making bets on your personal life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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