Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
