it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's shark week go big or go home
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
