Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
