Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
