Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
