she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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